British Asian Life Coach for Women
You have been the good daughter. The reliable one. The one who does not make a fuss and does not ask for much.
I'm Roksana. I am a transformation coach and clinical hypnotherapist, and I work with women carrying things that are hard to explain to someone who has not lived near them. Expectations you were handed. Duty that does not switch off. Guilt that arrives the moment you choose yourself. A family you love and cannot always be honest with.
You will not have to start at the beginning with me.
Book your free 20-minute consultation Twenty minutes, free, and nothing to decide at the end of it.
The rules and restrictions you were raised inside
Nobody sat you down and listed them. You absorbed them.
The rules
- Keep the peace, even when the peace costs you something
- Achieve, but do not outgrow anyone
- Do not bring shame to the family, and interpret shame generously
- Look after everybody. Someone will look after you eventually
- Be grateful. Whatever it cost them to get here, it cost more than you know
- Do not air it outside the family
The restrictions
- Who you could be friends with
- How you could dress
- Which career counted as a 'sensible' one
- Who you could love, and how much of the family had to approve
- How much room you could take up, before someone worried about the impression you were making and the shame you might bring
Most of it came from love. That is the part that makes it so hard to put down. You cannot be angry at people who sacrificed for you, so the feeling goes somewhere else, and usually it goes inward.
What that looks like now, years later
- You are successful and you feel like you have got away with something
- You can sense what everyone in a room needs, and you have no idea what you need
- Saying no takes three days of preparation and two days of recovery
- You are the one who made it, yet you feel alone in it
- You have built a life your parents would not fully recognise, and you cannot tell them how hard it has been
- Asking for help feels like an accusation against the people who raised you
You are not ungrateful. You are tired.
I came across Roksana after searching for a life coach with a British Asian background. I had visited a life coach before but found myself having to constantly explain my background but Roksana just got it.
A KRoksana Hussein
Transformation Coach since 2018
Hi, I'm Roksana
I am a British Pakistani woman and I have straddled two cultures my whole life.
I spent fifteen years in the NHS in a demanding senior role, living and working in London. I came through years of infertility, miscarriage and the grief that goes with that, and I became very good at appearing to have it all together, even though anxiety kept me lying awake at 4am.
I also know what it is to be raised by a parent who was still carrying their own unhealed wounds. That pattern takes years to notice, let alone unlearn. It is why this work is not only professional for me.
My own repair was convoluted. Back then, most people couldn't hold a space for all of me, so I assembled it from pieces and did a good deal of it alone. You should not have to.
I have been coaching women since 2018.
Book your free 20-minute consultationWhy this holds when talking about it has not
You may have tried therapy and found yourself explaining the context every session until the hour was gone. Or you may have understood the pattern perfectly and watched it run anyway.
Talking engages the part of your mind that already understands. The part running the pattern was formed before you had language for it, and it does not respond to being reasoned with.
So I do not only talk with you.
- Coaching, for the part of you that needs direction and someone holding you to it
- Clinical hypnotherapy, for beliefs that formed before you had words for them
- NLP, for the automatic responses that fire before you get to choose
- EFT, or tapping, for the moments your body reacts faster than your thinking
- EMDR, in person only, for memories and sensations that still carry a physical charge
I match them to what is in front of us, session by session.
This work does not require you to confront anyone, cut anyone off, or decide your family, parents or partner are bad people.
Most of the women I work with love their families and want to stay close to them. Plenty love their partners too, and still catch themselves keeping the peace at home in exactly the way they learned to as a girl. Nobody decides to do that. It is just what you got good at.
What changes is what you are carrying on their behalf, and how much of yourself it costs you.
Begin with Groundwork
There is one place to start, and it is deliberately not a ten-session commitment. The first five sessions are the same arc for every woman. We honour what you have been carrying, understand where it came from, resource you with tools that work in the actual moment, and build your capacity to hold your own life without bracing against it.
Groundwork
Five sessions of 90 minutes · free consultation first
- Five sessions of ninety minutes. Seven and a half hours of one-to-one time
- A personalised audio after each session, so the work carries on between us
- Support between sessions by voice note, message or email
- Coaching, clinical hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT, matched to you rather than to a template
- Online via Zoom, or in person in St Albans if you prefer
- A judgement-free, deeply held space
£795 in total. If you are weighing this against sessions billed one at a time, the difference is that you know the whole cost and the whole shape of it before you begin. It can be paid in two instalments if that suits you better, and the total is the same either way.
Groundwork is a complete first chapter, and plenty of women finish it and stop there. If you want to go further into one specific thing afterwards, there is a second phase called Heartwood, which I offer personally to the women who complete Groundwork.
What actually happens on the call
Twenty minutes, free, by video or phone.
- You tell me what is going on, in as much or as little detail as you want to
- I ask questions. I will probably name something you have not said out loud yet
- I tell you honestly whether I think I can help. If I am not the right person, I will say so
- If it feels right, we talk about starting. If it does not, we do not
- There is no pitch at the end and nothing to decide on the call
You are not committing to anything by booking. You are having one conversation.
From women who were where you are
I cannot recommend Roksana enough! After struggling with divorce, grief, burnout and a new life I was feeling overwhelmed and needed someone who was specialising in helping women like me heal deeply. I knew my inner child was hurting but I did not have the tools to do all the work myself. Roksana held my hand through the process step by step whilst also holding me accountable to do the work!
Roksana taught me the beauty of having "sacred pauses". Her learnings and approach are amazing. Should you be looking to heal your inner child wounds look no further than this amazing lady. I am forever in your debt Roksana.
Kiran, solicitorGoogle review, November 2024I have been seeking help for almost 15 years... despite continuing to work on myself, I would end up back at square 1. I now know it's because the root of the issues were never truly healed, only masked. Roksana has changed my life. For the first time I feel like I've switched lanes. I'm now on a new path, heading in the right direction.
SophiaI consulted Roksana to help me take the edge off of the feeling of rejection I felt speaking to a certain member of the family. Over the few weeks with Roksana, I felt the gunk of negative feelings wash away gradually.
I don't feel the rejection during the conversations. I no longer dread or avoid them. Dare I say, I often even enjoy them!
GDepth of training you can trust
Every accreditation below is genuine and independently verifiable. Select a badge to open the certificate.
Fellow of the ACCPH
I am a Fellow of the ACCPH (Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists), the body's most senior membership grade. It means my qualifications and professional insurance are independently verified, and I work to a published code of ethics. You can verify my membership here.
View certificate (PDF)
Master Clinical Hypnotherapist
I qualified as a Master Clinical Hypnotherapist in March 2023, having certified the year before in IMR, Age Regression, Inner Child, Higher Self and Gestalt. Both qualifications were completed with The Life Practice Academy.
View certificate (PDF)
Advanced EMDR Coach
In September 2022 I completed advanced EMDR training and certified in the use of EMDR as a professional coach. EMDR is offered in person only, and it is optional.
View certificate (PDF)
Certified Root Cause Hypnotherapist
Certified with The Life Practice Academy, alongside an Integrated Diploma in Coaching, NLP and Hypnotherapy. I have been coaching women since 2018.
View certificate (PDF)If you are not ready to talk yet
That is a reasonable place to be, and it is not a small thing to decide you want help.
If what you recognised on this page is the shape of the relationship you had with a parent, my free Daughter Archetype Quiz is a gentler first step. It takes a few minutes and it names the pattern you grew up inside. No conversation required.
And if it was someone you love who came to mind rather than you, you are welcome to send it to her.
Take the Daughter Archetype QuizGood to know
Do I have to be British Asian to work with you?
Not at all. I work with women from every background. This page exists because a particular set of things comes up often enough to be worth naming, not because I only see women who share my heritage.
Do I have to talk about my family?
Only as much as is useful. Some women arrive knowing exactly which relationship is at the centre of it. Others arrive knowing only that something is heavy. We start where you are.
Will you tell me to cut my family off?
No. That is not what this work is for and it is not what most women want. What changes is what you are carrying for other people, and what it has been costing you.
Is what I say confidential?
Yes. Everything you share stays between us, and I work to the ACCPH code of ethics. Nothing goes anywhere. Not to anyone, and not to anyone who knows anyone.
Is this therapy?
No, and I will not pretend otherwise. I am a coach, a clinical hypnotherapist and an advanced EMDR coach, not a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist. If what you need is clinical treatment, I will tell you on our call and help you find the right person.
Where are you based?
St Albans in Hertfordshire. Sessions are online across the UK, and in person if you want it. One method, EMDR, is in person only, and it is not part of Groundwork.
Can I pay in instalments?
Yes. You can split it into two payments. The total is £795 either way, and nothing is added for paying in two parts.
What if I need to move a session?
Life happens, and sessions can be moved. I ask for 24 hours' notice. A session changed or cancelled with less notice than that is charged in full, because the time has been held for you and cannot be offered to anyone else.
Whatever you are carrying, there is a way through
I support women through a wide range of challenges, always in a safe, judgement-free space. Explore the area that speaks to you.
Not sure where you sit? That is exactly what the free consultation is for.
Is it your time now?
You have carried a great deal, and you have carried it well. That was never in question.
The question is what it has cost you, and whether you want to keep paying it.
Book your free 20-minute consultation One conversation. Twenty minutes. Free, and no pressure from me at the end of it.