Finding your footing when life changes
One-to-one coaching for women in the middle of a big change, whether you chose it or it arrived without asking. Steadier ground first, then the decisions that are waiting for you.
Online, UK-wide
Book your free 20-minute consultationSomething has changed, or is about to. And somewhere in the middle of it, you have started to wonder whether you are handling it correctly.
That is usually what women bring me first. Not the event. Their response to it. The tears that arrive at the wrong moment, at work, in the car, in front of the children. The three in the morning what-ifs. The anger that feels out of proportion. Comparing yourself to how you imagine someone else would be coping.
I want to say something plainly, because for most women it is the first real relief. Your reaction is not the problem to be solved. It is information. It is telling you what this change has touched in you, and once that makes sense, it stops feeling like proof that something is wrong with you.
There is no correct way to do this. You are managing something big.
Two kinds of change, and both are hard
The change you did not choose
It arrived without your agreement. A parent's death. A diagnosis, your own or someone you love. Redundancy. A marriage ending. Becoming a mother and finding it nothing like you were hoping it would be.
- You are carrying on as normal, and it is costing more than anyone can see.
- You are hiding how you feel from the people closest to you, usually to protect them.
- You keep telling yourself you should be further along by now.
- Your reaction feels out of proportion and you cannot explain it, even to yourself.
- Practical decisions are piling up while you have nothing left to make them with.
If you are coming to terms with a diagnosis, your own or a family member's, this work sits alongside your medical care rather than in place of it. You do not need to be under anyone's care to begin.
The change you are choosing
You want this, or part of you does. A promotion. A career change. A move. A decision you have been weighing for longer than you would like to admit.
- You know you are ready, and you still cannot move.
- You are awake at night running through what-if scenarios, and it is draining.
- You are more uneasy about being seen to want it than about the work itself.
- You cannot tell whether the hesitation is wisdom or fear.
- The deciding is taking more out of you than the change itself would.
If what you are noticing is a pattern that keeps repeating rather than a change of chapter, improving your relationships may be the better place to start.
What you'll experience in our work together
Every woman I see in the middle of a change needs the same thing first, whatever brought her here. Steadier ground to stand on. That starting point is the same whether you are grieving or deciding, and it is why the first stretch of the work looks alike for everyone.
A session usually holds two halves. One is practical: the thinking, the decisions, the honest look at what is actually true rather than what fear has been telling you. The other is subconscious work, drawing on clinical hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT, to settle the reactions that thinking alone does not reach. We often begin something together in session and you finish it between sessions, which is why momentum tends to build faster than women expect.
- Take the weight off first: before anything else, we make the days more bearable. Sleep, the panic, the crying at work, the mornings you cannot get going.
- Separate what is true from what fear is adding: most women in a change are reacting to a version of the situation that has not been checked. Checking it changes what is possible.
- Build tools you will actually use: a few daily non-negotiables, and a protocol for the harder days, so you are not starting from nothing each morning.
- Make the decisions that are waiting: the conversation, the letter, the application, the appointment. Practical work, done properly, with the emotional support to make it possible.
- Then, if it is useful, go further back: some women find the roots of their reaction are older than the event. That is the deeper phase, and it is never a requirement.
This first stretch is Groundwork, five sessions, and for many women it is a complete chapter in itself. It is fully online, so where you live makes no difference to whether we can work together.
What this looks like in practice
One woman came to me a few weeks after being called into a meeting room and told her role was gone. She had not slept properly since. She was frightened about money and could not think past the next day.
We started with the facts. She sat down and looked properly at her savings, her partner's income and what the household was actually spending, and found she could manage comfortably for six months. That single piece of arithmetic changed the temperature of everything that followed.
From there she began to act. She found out what her industry was doing, she made contact with people she had not spoken to in a while, and she worked out what her fallback would be so that it stopped frightening her.
Alongside all of it, we worked on the panic itself, because none of that is possible while you are bracing. By the end she was not waiting for the next blow. She had six months she did not know she had, and she was looking forward to what came next.
Another woman I worked with was coming to terms with a diagnosis in her family, and her practical work looked nothing like that. For her it was being able to hold her end of a conversation with a medical team, and then with a school. The list is never the same twice, because it comes out of her own situation rather than a template of mine.
Sometimes it goes further back
Often the work stays where it started, and that is enough.
Sometimes, though, a woman notices that her reaction is older than the event. The habit of assuming the worst before the facts are in. The certainty that she will be judged. The voice telling her she should have seen it coming, or that it is somehow her fault.
When that surfaces, it is not a detour. It is usually the reason the change landed as hard as it did. And it tends to arrive as a relief rather than a burden, because a reaction that has never made sense finally does.
A reaction that has never made sense finally does.
If you want to go there, that is the deeper phase of the work, and it is something we would talk about when you reach it. Nothing about it needs deciding today.
"Roksana supported me throughout my pregnancy journey which has helped me better connect with both my partner and my pregnancy process. I can confidently say that I have left the sessions with sufficient tools that will help me navigate difficult emotions, how to manage hard conversations, cope with change and support the connection with my babies."
Rajan"She provided practical tools and guidance, helping me overcome limiting beliefs, be more productive, avoid procrastination and gain confidence. I now feel liberated, with clarity and purpose in both personal and professional aspects."
NazihaSteady ground, while everything else moves
A free, unhurried conversation is a gentle place to begin, and there is no obligation in it. Most women start with Groundwork, five sessions to steady and resource you, at £795. It is fully online, wherever you are in the UK.
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