Parts therapy addresses differences and inner conflicts between parts (of your identity) that previously worked harmoniously for your greater good but are now responsible for causing a choke hold on your emotional well-being.

…I have found this method (Parts Therapy) to be very effective. I am fairly observant and have spent many years trying to understand my blocks but despite my best efforts, I’ve struggled to understand deeper routed aspects of myself. Parts therapy has been an amazing solution for this! With excellent facilitation by Roksana, Parts Therapy has allowed me to connect with subconscious level thoughts and feelings and gain a detailed understanding of my personality, on a granular level. Since experiencing Parts Therapy, I am steadily building a more balance mindset and really understanding myself! I have so far eliminated some long-term difficulties such as opting for home-cooking vs. takeout’s, minimising alcohol and managing my work-life balance stress. This technique is really helping me heal limiting beliefs and align polarised perspectives that have been holding me back for many years – it’s such a relief to know that there’s a technique that works really well for my situation.

Client experience of Parts Therapy

There are key moments in life we decide to heal, deal or feel our way to a solution for overcoming emotional or behavioural issues. We may sense a glimmer for a future with the issue(s) resolved and fully behind us. We make a wholehearted commitment, an announcement to ourselves in private or a bold public declaration that times are about to change. We’re about to change, grow and evolve our way through the issue that’s been holding us back.

A few months on, you find yourself stalling, regressing, reverting to old thoughts or behaviours. Stuck. It creates inner confusion. You wonder how a usually successful and capable person is sliding backwards? The confusion leads to shame, guilt or both. You may even develop a disdain for yourself, realising you can no longer rely on your inner strengths. Your self-trust begins to erode.

Yet, from to time, there remains a glimmer, an inner voice that evokes a feeling of hope and promise, reminding you to resolve the issue so you can move forward in life. The glimmer comes and goes, sometimes it’s so loud it takes your breath away, other times, it’s an intermittent whisper or a sensation of optimism.

You find yourself living in a cycle. The days or weeks you’re working on resolving the issue or the other times; you’re waiting for the glimmer or thinking obsessively about the issue.  Self-sabotaging or telling yourself that you’ll ‘never’ overcome the issue. Overcome with self-loathing or feeling self-defeated. This cyclical pattern can go on for months, years or decades. If you know this state of mind then you are experiencing polarity.

If you recognise these patterns of behaviour, no matter the issue, please know this polarity exists within every human. The difference between you and others is the level of intensity to which you feel the polarity. Every emotion has a spectrum and your sway between the polarity depends on your personal tolerance and sensitivities.

You have multiple parts. There may be a part that is visionary and offers great ideas to support you to evolve and grow. There may be a tenacious part that gets things done. There may be a protection part. Just like these parts there are many other beautiful and resourceful parts that all band together for your greater good. These identities were created independently of each other throughout your life. They were born at a time of need so they remain as parts of you. They are unique to you, integrated and work as a family. The parts have a clear purpose and positive intentions for you. They exist for your greater good.

Polarity is caused by fragmentation of your parts. Due to stress, ill health or trauma, a part can become confused, unfocused, or over-protective. A part can begin to prevent you from doing things that once seemed effortless. If one part becomes fragmented this is enough to cause dysfunction. Each part serves a purpose but what can happen is, two executive functioning identities can become conflicted with each other. They become fragmented and can longer work cohesively for your greater good.

On an individual level you’ll notice that you can’t stick to promises you make yourself. You’ll notice the emotional and physical crutches (eating healthy, exercising, shopping, being with those close to you) no longer give you the emotional support/fix they once did. You’ll feel lost as though you don’t recognise yourself fully causing an identity crisis. You may also believe you can no longer rely on yourself, and this causes the most anguish, inner suffering.

There is a solution! Your fragmented parts can become fully integrated with parts therapy. It does not mean you have multiple personalities rather that you have parts that work for you. It’s essential you make a commitment to get to know yourself on a deeper level. If knowledge is power then self-knowledge is the ultimate empowerment. Take time with a coach to understand your biography, triggers, current thoughts, feelings and behaviours. These make up your personality which affect your personal reality. These can all be adapted and tweaked subconsciously so they serve you and support the life you wish to create.

Fat Loss Example

In my practise, clients often struggle with fat loss and well-being goals. They know exactly what they need to do to create steady fat loss but there is part of them that may a) give them a free pass to indulge more than they should, b) they’ve slightly gone off the eating plan so they quit for the rest of the week. Obviously, there can be many other self- sabotaging behaviours at play when it comes to fat loss. In this example let’s assume this person has a “health conscious” part, this part keeps bringing them back to start anew. Let’s also assume they have the “Protection – I use food as comfort” identity. They each have positive intentions for the clients well-being and have served them harmoniously in the past but are now conflicted with each other, causing imbalance.

During parts therapy, the client is guided (with Hypnosis) to understand why these parts have become conflicted. The parts share thoughts and feelings behind the ‘self-sabotaging’ behaviours and the findings are often surprising for the client. They learn new information about the way their parts (identities) have been shaped, how they support them and also what conditions they require to optimally perform. This new awareness and understanding is life changing.

Parts Therapy in Action

Within Parts Therapy, under a Hypnotic trance, we state the issue and ask the identity that is causing the client to be stuck to communicate. This is a gentle 11-step process to safely engage with the parts involved in unwanted thoughts or behaviours.

As the guide, I ask open questions, to learn more about the parts purpose and role. I illicit the reasons the part is blocking or causing the client to be stuck. This is when the part shares it’s insecurities, fears or worries.

Next, the client honours the part by accepting how it’s been, and we move onto facilitating negotiations and mediation between the conflicted parts. This is the longest section as there can be push back. It’s similar to when two conflicted adults are negotiating new terms to move forward.

In most sessions, terms of agreement are reached and the final step; to create harmony and integration between the parts. This is often a beautiful experience for the client as they witness or experience the parts coming together for their greater good. Clients often breathe a sigh of relief.

After Parts therapy, clients usually share the physical sensations they were feeling throughout the different steps. They share a feeling of inner expansion and of deep peace.

It is usual for parts therapy to require more than one session to be able to build rapport and trust with all parts concerned. Sessions are judgement free; this is crucial to the success of mediation and agreements. We know all parts are conducive to working as a family, to be integrated and to be of service to the client. This has to be honoured and respected.

“We need to treat each part respectfully, just as though it were a person. Each part has it’s own emotions and logic and each can form its own opinions about the therapists”

Hunter, 2010

Client-centred Parts Therapy

During Parts Therapy, it’s essential the client is empowered to create their own solution to the issue. When people work to create their own answers, those answers are the most relevant and are most likely to be accepted by the subconscious mind.  The parts are mightily resourceful and capable of evolving for the higher good of the person. The parts must be treated as though they are people, with courtesy and respect. Their uniqueness acknowledged. This is what makes Parts Therapy one of the most successful therapies. Clients are building agency and self-efficacy.

Without realising, clients are training their subconscious mind to create solutions, inner harmony and to reach resolutions. This training forms new powerful habits. Clients grow away from investigating how and why they became stuck, and instead become creators of their future.

If you’ve struggled to stick to the promises, you’ve made yourself then I see you. I know this polarity only too well and I am delighted to declare that Parts Therapy will get you closer to achieving the inner freedom you so deserve.

I hope you’ve found this article on Parts Therapy helpful.

Hi! I’m Roksana. I’m a life coach for women in St Albans, Hertfordshire. I run face to face and online sessions via Zoom. I’m always happy to answer your questions around any of my methods or approaches. Long term changes begin with a guide who has walked a similar path, has a blueprint, will give you support and accountability every step of the way. If you’re interested to know more then please book a FREE call with me.