Internal Family Systems in Practice: Lessons From 5 Years of Parts Therapy

Discovering Wholeness Through Parts Therapy

Long before I’d even heard of Dr. Richard Schwartz and the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, I was already practising a similar approach in my hypnotherapy sessions, what I called Parts Therapy.

I reserved this method for clients who came to me saying, “I’ve tried everything else.” They’d spent years in counselling, read every book, and worked with other therapists. They were articulate, self-aware, and highly motivated.

And then, through Parts Therapy, something remarkable happened: they started to feel whole again. Not just easing symptoms but rewiring long-held thought patterns and behaviours. The kind of change that ripples into every corner of life.

Now, after more than five years of using this approach and learning even more from Dr. Schwartz’s trainings, I want to share the insights that consistently help my clients unlock profound shifts.

What is Parts Therapy?

Think of your mind as a family household. Inside, there are different members – your Parts. Each one has its own voice, temperament, and role. Some are playful, some are cautious, some carry wounds from the past.

At their core, every Part has a positive intention. They’re trying to protect you, help you, or achieve something on your behalf. But life events especially trauma can distort their role. A once helpful Part can become extreme, destructive, or downright exhausting.

That’s when people describe feeling fragmented:

“I know what I need to do, but I just can’t stick to it.”

“Part of me wants to move forward, but another part keeps holding me back.”

Parts Therapy brings these voices back into dialogue so they can work together for your greater good.

Meeting the Self

Here’s where the real magic happens: Parts Therapy helps people connect with their Self. The calm, compassionate centre of who they are.

The Self isn’t just another Part. It’s the observer. The leader. It carries qualities like curiosity, confidence, clarity, and compassion.

When clients make this shift, I often see their language change:

  • From “I got so angry with the kids,”
  • To “I noticed I was getting angry with the kids.”

That tiny but powerful gap between being the anger and observing it, creates space for self-compassion and choice. Clients stop identifying with their destructive patterns and start leading their Parts with patience and strength.

This is when they step into empowerment.

Protector Parts: The overachievers of the mind

Most of us have several Protector Parts, formed at different stages of life. Their job? To shield us from the pain of past wounds.

For example:

  • A perfectionist Part may keep you obsessively working so you’ll never be criticised again.
  • A people-pleaser Part might overextend itself to avoid rejection.
  • An angry Part may lash out to ensure you’re never vulnerable.

These Protectors are well-meaning but often overbearing. They can fight for control, leaving you drained and conflicted.

In session, my role is to respect them, to listen, acknowledge, and build trust. I’ll ask questions like:

  • “How old do you think the client is?”
  • “What are you trying to protect them from?”
  • “If you didn’t have to protect in this way, what would you love to do instead?”

The answers are often moving, sometimes playful, sometimes heart-breaking. It can feel like mediating between stubborn family members. But when a Protector finally softens, trusting the Self to lead, the whole inner system breathes easier.

Why Parts Therapy resonates

Unlike some self-development work that leaves people feeling like they’ve “failed” for not keeping up with habits or willpower, Parts Therapy removes the blame.

Instead of seeing themselves as broken, clients begin to see how brilliantly adaptive their minds have been even if those adaptations no longer serve them.

This reframing alone is healing. Suddenly, what once felt like sabotage is recognised as protection. And with compassion, the path to wholeness opens.

If you’re curious about Parts Therapy and how it might help you step into alignment with your Self, let’s connect. Book a Free Call and explore how inner harmony can become your new normal.

Hi! I’m Roksana. I’m a life coach for women in St Albans, Hertfordshire. I run face to face and online sessions via Zoom. I also specialise in trauma healing. I’m always happy to answer your questions around any of my methods or approaches. Long term changes begin with a guide who has walked a similar path, has a blueprint, will give you support and accountability every step of the way. If you’re interested to know more then please book a FREE call with me.

Your healing journey starts here!

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