I want to begin with a gentle truth: I’m not a single parent.

But many of my beautiful, resilient clients are. And through our work together, I’ve been privileged to witness their incredible strength — and also the sheer weight they carry, day in and day out.

If you’re reading this and you’re parenting solo, juggling work, homework, washing up, bedtime battles, your own emotions (when you have the capacity to even notice them)… then this post is for you.

Grab a drink and settle down for 5 minutes or so.

This isn’t one of those picture-perfect Pinterest articles that tells you to wake up at 5am, journal for 20 minutes, do yoga, make smoothies, meditate, and float into your day in a bubble of zen.

This is about messy, real-life balance. Your balance. A balance that doesn’t mean doing everything. It means knowing what to do when everything’s on your shoulders.

Let’s Redefine Balance

You’ve probably heard the term work/life balance thrown around like it’s something you can pin down, wrap in a bow, and stick to like a schedule. But for single parents — and let’s be honest, for most of us — balance isn’t a fixed formula.

It’s a rhythm. Some seasons are pure survival mode. Others allow for a little breathing room. And sometimes, the rhythm changes hour by hour. Giving yourself permission to be fully present in any given season means accepting where you are. Some of our internal suffering comes from longing to be in another moment or another season of our lives, and usually, the emotion of guilt is the culprit.

Harvard Business Review calls this “harmony” rather than balance, and says that what leads to greater satisfaction is flexibility and clarity in your values, not a perfect 50/50 split between work and home.

So, let’s start from this place:

You’re not failing because it feels hard. It is hard. You’re doing the best you can with the capacity and resources you have. You’re not failing at all. There’s so much you are accomplishing but those pesky crooked thoughts are forcing you to focus on the lack rather than the long list of accomplishments.

The Mental Load: Let’s Name It

One thing that comes up a lot in my sessions is the mental load — that invisible, exhausting task list that lives in your brain:

• “Need to order more Calpol.”
• “School trip money is due next week.”
• “Don’t forget to respond to that email before 9am tomorrow.”
• “What the hell am I making for dinner?”

This list? It’s always running. And because it’s invisible, no one sees it — yet you’re the one doing the admin, emotional soothing, planning, and fixing on your own.

A small but mighty first step?

Write it down. All of it. Brain dump everything — then ask yourself:

• What’s Essential?
• What can I Delegate (yes, even if you think you should do it)?
• What can be Delayed?
• What can I Ditch entirely?

Your mind deserves offloading. Not overloading.

Five Practical Tips

💡 1. Morning Anchors (Not Routines)

Forget the pressure of perfect routines. Instead, try anchoring your morning with just one steady practice:

• A moment of breath before the kids wake up.
• A whispered affirmation while brushing your teeth.
• A sip of coffee in peace before emails or cereal bowls.

Think of it like placing your feet firmly on the ground before the whirlwind begins.

“One mindful minute is more sustainable than thirty perfect ones.”

💡 2. Micro-Pockets of Self-Time

You might not have an hour to yourself — but you do have five minutes.

• EFT tapping after school drop-off.
• Breathwork while the pasta boils.
• Standing by the door and breathing in cold air for 90 seconds.

These small actions regulate your nervous system, reduce the emotional charge, and gently remind your body that you matter too.

💡 3. Know Your Bare Minimums

Ask yourself, what are the non-negotiables that help me feel steady?

It might be:

• 6 hours of sleep.
• 10 minutes of movement.
• A phone call with someone who truly sees you.

These are your bare minimums. Honour them not as indulgence, but as essential maintenance. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, calls this the practice of “treating yourself as you would a friend” (source).

💡 4. Time Blocking with Wiggle Room

To-do lists can feel overwhelming. Instead, try time blocking:

• “Focused Work” (even if it’s a messy 30 minutes)
• “Chaos Hour” (after school snack and meltdowns)
• “Me Zone” (even if it’s just sitting on the stairs in silence)

Expect disruptions — and plan for them. That buffer space? It’s not laziness. It’s strategy.

💡 5. Build a Micro-Village

You were never meant to do this all alone.
That “it takes a village” saying? It wasn’t just about the kids — it was about you, too.

• Can you trade one dinner a week with a fellow single mum?
• Could a neighbour do a school run once a week in exchange for something small?
• Could an online support group or app like Mush or Peanut help you feel less alone?

Help isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

Your Emotions Need Space Too

Work/life balance isn’t just logistics. It’s emotional.
It’s decision fatigue. It’s invisible guilt. It’s holding space for everyone’s needs — while yours shrink into the cracks.

Therapy, coaching, journaling, or even just naming the hard stuff out loud can make a huge difference. I often see clients feel immediate relief just from saying, “I’m not coping” — and being met with compassion, not judgement.

You don’t need to be desperate to deserve support.

When Guilt Creeps In…

You miss a school performance. You order takeout again. You lose your temper.

Then the guilt hits.

Here’s a reframe: Guilt isn’t always a signal that you’re doing something wrong. It’s often a signal that you care. That you’re trying.
Let that be a mirror to your values — not a verdict on your worth.

Journal prompt: What would I say to a friend in my shoes right now?

A Final Thought: You Deserve to Be Held Too

Balance isn’t a destination. It’s a series of small, brave choices made each day in a world that rarely makes space for your full reality.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed… I see you.
If you’re holding it all together and barely holding on… I honour you.
And if you’re ready for support — emotional, practical, or both — know that you’re allowed to ask for it. Give yourself permission to be supported in this season of your life.

You deserve to feel steadier. More seen. More held.

Whether it’s through breathwork, emotional regulation tools, or compassionate coaching — I’m here. And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Want to find your version of balance?

Let’s work together to gently reduce the overwhelm and reconnect you to you.

You are worthy of a life that feels spacious, even in the busiest of seasons.

Hi! I’m Roksana. I’m a life coach for women in St Albans, Hertfordshire. I run face to face and online sessions via Zoom. I also specialise in trauma healing. I’m always happy to answer your questions around any of my methods or approaches. Long term changes begin with a guide who has walked a similar path, has a blueprint, will give you support and accountability every step of the way. If you’re interested to know more then please book a FREE call with me.