Here’s What You Need to Know

Have you ever felt like you’re floating through life on autopilot? Maybe you zone out in conversations, or sometimes it feels like you’re watching yourself from the outside, like life’s happening to you, not with you. That, my friend, is dissociation and for many, it’s the brain’s way of trying to cope with stress or trauma.

But can it actually go away? And can EMDR help? Let’s talk about it.

First, What Is Dissociation, Really?

In simple terms, dissociation is feeling disconnected from your surroundings, your emotions, or even yourself. It can show up in small ways, like daydreaming or spacing out. But for some, it’s much more intense: memory gaps, emotional numbness, or even feeling like your body isn’t yours.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s leading trauma experts, puts it this way: “Dissociation is the essence of trauma.”

It’s how our minds protect us when life gets overwhelming.

What Causes Dissociation?

There’s no single cause, but some common roots include:

Childhood trauma –  like abuse, neglect, or growing up around addiction or domestic violence.
A specific traumatic event –  think accidents, assaults, natural disasters.
Chronic stress or emotional neglect –  sometimes it’s not “what happened” but “what didn’t happen,” like not feeling safe or loved.
Complex PTSD – often from ongoing, repeated trauma over time.

Your brain essentially goes, “This is too much,” and flips the switch to disconnect at first to survive, but sometimes that coping strategy sticks around long after the danger has passed.

How Does Dissociation Show Up Day to Day?

It really depends on the person. Some common examples are:

• Mild: Spacing out, forgetting parts of a conversation, losing track of time.
• Moderate: Big memory gaps, feeling detached or “numb,” struggling to stay present.
• Severe: Feeling like you’re outside your body, the world doesn’t feel real, or in rare cases, switching between different parts of your identity (as seen in Dissociative Identity Disorder).

A lot of people live with these experiences without realising they’re connected to unresolved trauma.

So… Can EMDR Help?

Short answer? Yes – EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) can be a game-changer for trauma-related dissociation.

EMDR is a gentle but powerful therapy that helps your brain reprocess stuck, unhealed trauma memories. Using guided eye movements, tapping, or sounds, your therapist walks you through revisiting tough experiences but in a way that feels safe and manageable.

Over time, EMDR helps your brain file those traumatic memories away properly, so they no longer feel overwhelming or triggering. And with that, the dissociative patterns often soften, or even disappear completely.

As trauma expert Dr. Janina Fisher explains, “Dissociation resolves when the traumatic memories can be integrated into the person’s life story.” That’s exactly what EMDR helps with.

But It’s Not a Quick Fix…

To be clear, EMDR isn’t a magic wand. Dissociation, especially if it’s been part of your life for years, takes time and patience to heal. But with the right therapist – someone trained in trauma and dissociation, it is possible to feel more present, more connected, and more like you again.

Many people also find combining EMDR with things like:

• Grounding tools to stay present
• Mind-body work like breath work or gentle yoga
• A supportive coach or therapist who “gets it.”

…creates even more powerful results.

The Bottom Line

Dissociation might have been your brain’s way of protecting you, but you don’t have to live disconnected forever. EMDR offers a real, research-backed pathway to heal the root causes and bring you home to yourself. Your mind is protecting you from something you no longer need protecting from.

If you’re ready to explore whether EMDR or trauma-informed coaching could help you feel more present and connected, why not book a FREE call? Let’s talk about what healing could look like for you.

Hi! I’m Roksana. I’m a life coach for women in St Albans, Hertfordshire. I run face to face and online sessions via Zoom. I also specialise in trauma healing. I’m always happy to answer your questions around any of my methods or approaches. Long term changes begin with a guide who has walked a similar path, has a blueprint, will give you support and accountability every step of the way. If you’re interested to know more then please book a FREE call with me.